Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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