So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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