no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
