I hope mine doesn't look like that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize