it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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