i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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