Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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