sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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