i would punch a child for taco bell
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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