i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
do herpes really smell.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize