the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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