Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
