why didn't you poke me back
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
