I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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