That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
