im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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