the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize