just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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