i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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