what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
