I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
