Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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