I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
