My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
