YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
