his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I am naked and annoyed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
