soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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