you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize