I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
