I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize