just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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