Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
