it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
