i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
