I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
