it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
