I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
