One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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