we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
