yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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