I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
