his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
