i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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