Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
