You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
