He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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