smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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