I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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