Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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