I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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