just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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