I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
