i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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