I need help removing her.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
