Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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