Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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